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From your show host, Kevin Miller:
Today’s show topic is “Marital devotion for overall success” and we have a beautiful message from Zig.
Before we dive in, I want to highlight something. In this story, Zig tells a story starring his son-in-law, Jim Norman, husband to his daughter Julie. Jim passed away just one month ago. I was slated to join Tom Ziglar at a Ziglar event in Phoenix, AZ to work on his upcoming book. The trip was cancelled because of Jim’s death…a long fight with cancer. So it’s with great honor we bring you this clip.
Tom, I’ll ask you…what is a standout memory you had of Jim, and how he emulated the heart of Ziglar?
> Hear Tom’s answer in the show below
This story is one of devotion. Zig met a woman and got married. That’s not remarkable, it is as common as waking up and eating breakfast. But Zig…devoted himself to his marriage. So much so that with a platform initially built on sales, career and business success which made Zig a superstar, he chose to leverage his platform to give focus to two other objectives:
He devoted himself to his marriage in a massive way. How many of us do that with marriage, as opposed to treating it like a responsibility alongside:
- Paying the mortgage and maintaining the house
- Servicing our automobiles
- Investing in our kids
- Pursuing a hobby
We end up with a spouse who is a partner in the business of family, and we do the occasional date night, maybe. But the romance is gone, the sparks are gone, and now it’s…a commitment. A duty, which we are…dutiful in.
This is the all too common trap. And we watch passion and romance and valor and love on screens.
Why did Zig see it differently? And why does he cite marital devotion as a primary ingredient to his, and anyone’s, overall success?
In “The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas Stanley and William Danko, they cite nearly 95% of millionaire households are composed of married couples who are married to their first spouse.
Zig was obviously on to something.
Tom, when was the first time you realized your parents, and your Dad’s devotion to your Mom and their marriage, was different than the norm? And how?
> Hear Tom’s answer in the show
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Next Tom…Zig was amazing, but not perfect. Where was his Achille’s heel that he had to do double-time to overcome, not only in his marriage, but in relationships overall?
> Hear Tom’s answer in the show, where you’ll hear how Zig’s busyness and therefore…time…was his Achille’s heel
Now Zig’s message admittedly comes from an era of gender roles that are questioned a lot today, the man working and the woman at home, homemaking and mothering.
If you let that derail you, you’re cutting off your nose to spite your face. If you’ll temper yourself the cultural realities, like those of the Bible where the women couldn’t cut their hair and the men couldn’t cut their beards, you’ll find the point. Which is…honoring each other. Wherever you are. Whatever roles and duties you’ve agreed on. Please see this point.
Zig cited this quote in regards to doing something everyday that your mate is capable of doing for themselves, “Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.” – Saint Francis de Sales
This really hit home to me. My go-to strength is trying to be superman. Do everything. Endure. Do more. But after 22 years of marriage, 7 children and nearly killing my marriage twice, I can confidently say what I thought was strength, was not the best strength. My best strength wasn’t being superman by DOING, it was being superman with BEING. Being what my wife needed. Our marriage is a constant work in progress.
On that note Tom, Zig said, “Love is nurtured by Interest, Involvement and Expressions of Love.” What are some areas which weren’t natural for you in this aspect, and you had to learn to walk intentionally in your own marriage?
> Hear Tom’s answer in the show as he cites the value of letting each spouse have their own opinion
Zig talks about the value of being in a social event and introducing and treating your spouse with great pride. If you can’t, then you know where your work needs to be focused; having respect. If you don’t respect your spouse, then it reflects on you. You…chose to marry them. To devote your life to them. To possibly create children with them! What did you originally respect most? You’ve got to get back to that.
Tom, I’ve got to admit with over 22 years of marriage, there have been many times when my respect for my spouse has waned. I’ve taken Teri for granted. I’ve felt I do more and she does less. And I don’t feel like giving, I think more about what I’m not getting. But then I remember…my responsibility. My commitment to devotion. Not just devotion to duty, but to love.
And the truth is it’s flat-out human nature to think we do more and everyone else does less. We ALL think that at times. Which means, many, many of us are wrong.
Tom, how do you see this playing out in today’s world and culture?
> Listen in to Tom, Zig and the discussion below. If you’re ready to establish your devotion to your marriage…and your personal success, try this classic, “Courtship After Marriage“, by Zig Ziglar. Don’t just listen and read it. Do something about it.