[00:25] Welcome to The Ziglar Show, episode 452. Today we hear a message from the legend of motivation and inspiration, the champion of personal development, Zig Ziglar. Today he walks us through some stats and reality of success in the workplace being highly dependent on the value of our relationships…even eclipsing our mastery of the job. The great news is it’s something we can change, immediately!
[01:43] Hi everyone, this is Kevin Miller, your host of The Ziglar Show, where we focus on the necessary personal development tools for your personal and career success, highlighting inspiration and motivation, which Zig has taught us is the fuel for everything else. In a culture of “How to do”, The Ziglar message is spreading like wildflower to address the first step…” goeshow to BE!”
[02:10] Folks, Ziglar headquarters is in Plano, TX, a stone’s throw from Dallas. Every month, select people gather there for Ziglar events. Teaching, training and equipping to not only radically change your life, but the lives of others. Go to Ziglar.com and check out “Life Changing Programs” many of which you can participate in online, and “Upcoming Events” to see where you might join the Ziglar family.
[03:04] OK, I’ve got a clip for you from Zig, it’s about 9 minutes long. He hits on 4 topics: 1) the value of appreciating others, 2) treating everyone like a VIP, 3) expecting the best from others so you can get the best from them and 4) treating everyone with care and respect.
[03:25] But let me caution you here, this is not about being humanitarian of the year Mr. or Mrs. Nice Guy. The point is teaching you how you can have far greater success in your life and work. And quite honestly, if you really pay attention to the message and then think about your own behavior, chances are you’ll recognize and have to admit that the qualities Zig is espousing here are not up to par in your life. But again, the great news is…you can address it now! You can take action today, and tomorrow and immediately begin increasing and securing your success.
[04:04] Ok, here is Zig, then we’ll spend a moment digging in on those 4 topics:
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[12:03] When you are comfortable with yourself, fear and prejudgoesright out the window.
[13:52]Zig begins telling the story of an employee who it dawned on him…he’d not kept track of. He is telling that how bright speaker she was and how he missed to recognize her ability. Not appreciated and supported and utilized.
[14:03]First, I as always appreciate his humanity. It should makes us all feel some grace for ourselves, and some hope!
[14:10]Grace because even the king of positivity and encouragement and one of the greatest humanitarians of all time, still got busy and life happened and he neglected a key employee!
[14:23]But it also gives us hope…because as he likes to remind us, if he can do it, we can do it. Because he was just as faulty as the rest of us. In this, he takes away our excuses.
[14:40]But here he took an employee for granted, to his own detriment. But he realized it, corrected it, and benefited. Which is what we can all emulate…today!
[15:28] As Zig goes on, he talks of the many employees who leave jobs due to lack of respect and recognition. Chances are you’ve heard this. That what people want most is appreciation. Above money and benefits. That is a very important point. You treat people like you see them and the way you treat them, they turns up their relationship.
[16:10]But chances are, you have heard this…but you didn’t do anything different as a result of this information. Especially if YOU are the employee. But this is for all of us and we need to utilize for our benefit and others, it with our
Boss or manager! Yes, if you are an employee, what your boss or manager wants most is…appreciation.
[17:20]Zig’s foundational quote, “”You can have everythingin life you want, if you willjust help other people get what they want.”
[17:30]So what do those other people want? Appreciation. Give it to them…for your own benefit, as well as their’s.
[17:37] Folks, I’ll admit, this is not a natural inclination of mine. I actually think thoughts of gratitude and appreciation for others, but I’m more of a thinker than a talker. And I can easily bypass the chance to actually TELL people, which makes it irrelevant. It’s a habit I have to prompt myself to do.
[18:29]With my current employees, I’ll still go for a while and realize I’ve missed it. Sometimes we’ll plan a lunch, just to take intentional time and really acknowledge them. As a guy who likes to write, I probably find a reason every quarter to gift them with something and include a card. I’ve gotten some of the most heartfelt thank-yous of gratitude from those cards and words of appreciation that they can hold on to.
[19:48] Zig’s next story about the girl who worked at Hilton, hoping to impress Mr. Hilton himself. She didn’t know what he looked like, so she treated everyone like it could be him, all day long. Zig asks, why don’t we treat everyone like a VIP?
[20:08] One of the things that drew me to Zig as a youth, my dad Dan Miller teach me about lot of people, wisdom and Zig Ziglar was on top of the list. We go to the lot of the seminars, I worked behind the scenes and got to know a lot of big names. Zig Ziglar was the same guy behind the scene as the same on stage.
[22:14] I later came to really pay attention to people at restaurants. I end up at meals with many influential people. It’s eye opening to see how some of them treat servers like royalty (as I witnessed Zig do), and others who treat them like…servers. Servants, even.
[24:45] Listen again to these quotes that Zig threw out to us: “Your happiness is determined more by the success of your relationships than any other single thing.” If you are not getting along with the people who are important to you then you are one more miserable thing.
[24:53] Think about that one and think about yourself and others. Think of those in your life who are…unhappy. How are their relationships? And those who are happy, who seem to always have joy and a spring in their step and spirit. How are their relationships?
[25:27] folks, I’m a people pleaser, admittedly. I don’t function well in any arena where there are unhealthy relationships, not only between me and others, but even in my vicinity. The homefront is number one of course.
[25:43] “The way you see others determines the way you treat them and the way you treat them determines their performance.
[25:54] That is convicting and hard. When I allow myself to be critical of another, my treatment of them can’t help but decline, and then so does their performance and treatment of me. So I’m spiting myself. If I want their best, I must treat them with…my best. No matter what. This is what true respect is. Not treating them according to their performance or behavior, but treating them according to…the fact they are a living human.
[26:51] Zig’s next quote is 7 people out of 10 who lose their job, lose it because they do not have the right kind of relationships. Personality conflicts.
[27:04] And I’d just add personality or relationship…voids. I think many would say they are nice and have no conflicts with anyone at work for instance. Which may be true. But are there any, I’ll say…relational bonds? If not, no loyalty. No benefit.
[27:30]I think we see people fail on two sides:
– Those who do have good relationships, but maybe don’t to exemplary work. They may lose their job and be frustrated because they are a “good guy or gal” that is likable, trustworthy… But it is a business, there is a bottom line.
– Those who focus on their skills and abilities and the job. And don’t put much thought and/or effort into relationships. This is of course far more common. You have your college degree, you know the work. You are on time, you do a good job. Maybe even a great job. But…you don’t create good relationships.
[28:16]There is enough competition in the workforce these days, that to solidify your success, you need both.
[28:34]Corporations these days are lamenting the younger generation’s lack of soft skills. Type soft skills into a search engine and you’ll get:
“personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.”
[29:00] You’ll also just find a ton of content. Soft skills are seldom taught at home. They aren’t taught in grade school or college! They aren’t taught at church. Being “nice” can just be an absence of being mean. That is not engaging in soft skills and creating healthy relationships.
One of the best resource that I have is :
“How To Win Friends & Influence People”
[30:18]Zig ends by making a commentary on our self-centered society. That was twenty years ago. Today we have what many are saying as a very entitled culture, especially amongst our younger folks, but also a culture that wants to be authentic. Which I understand and appreciate, but has some dangers.
[30:55]If I don’t like you but make an effort to reach out and be encouraging and nice, is that unauthentic? Fake? Acting?
[31:06]I have a 20 year old daughter who has struggled with this in the past. She said “If I don’t care, admittedly, about someone, putting on a front to be nice and cordial and caring, isn’t that NOT being authentic and honest? And being fake and performing?
[31:28] If a homeless person asks for money and I don’t feel like giving it, should I or not? When my child wants to play or share something and I don’t feel like it, is being kind anyway, performing? Being fake? Or is it moving above my mere feelings to do what is best and right?
[32:02] Matthew 5:46 New King James Version (NKJV)
46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
[32:16] Luke 6:32New King James Version (NKJV)
32 “But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.
[32:33] We’ll end here, after I make one last call out. In show 402 we interviewed Dina Dwyer Owens who wrote the book “Values Inc.”, shared how they do business as it should be, values first. It’s the right thing to do. But…they also made over $2 billion in 2016, surpassing their competitors. In that same perspective…reality actually, following Zig’s advice here, building healthy relationships is the right thing to do. And…it will support and help prosper your success better than a Harvard degree.
[33:14] Thanks for being here and inspiring our true performance together!