[00:33] Welcome to the Ziglar show episode 458. Mark Timm is here with us today to talk about family. Your family is not neutral. It is either joy & glory in your life or burden and guilt. Mark Timm is a CEO in Ziglar family and is laser focused on helping us all realize a thriving, not just surviving, family. It’s pure Ziglar; strong and healthy relationships, intentionality, goals and great habits. Plus, you can join Ziglar family and 7-Day challenge.
You can text 7day family to this number 44222. Or go to 7daychallenge.com.
[02:42] Hi everyone, this is Kevin Miller, your host of the Ziglar show. Folks, Family is one of the primary spokes on Zig Ziglar’s wheel of life. You may have heard our first interview with Mark Timm on this subject Family in show 419 which was titled ‘How to love going home’. That show had most 40,000 downloads of this recording. This interview is a pure gold for you and your family. We dive deep in to the realities of how we view and experience our family. So please listen, whether you take part in the 7-days challenge or not.
[03:44] Mark brings us guidance from the absolute best on the topic of family. The 7-days challenge launches on Monday, March 27 2017 at 6 am EST runs through Sunday April 7, 2017.
[05:11] So now I bring you Tom Ziglar and myself discussing family, the power of family with Ziglar family CEO, Mark Timm.
[05:21] Well Mark, what a gift to have you back on the show again, welcome.
[05:55] Thank you, what a gift to be on the show again and I can’t tell you how awesome it is to be on the Ziglar show with you guys and just dive into some great concepts.
[06:20] Tom and I spent so much time talking about family. But I wanna get in on that because you are talking very plainly, very straight forward, with a lot of gravity. I am really wanna break it down and get things out of the table into reality with family. Who has ever really gone into having kids, starting a family with any specific intention and a goal. How many people have the long term vision and a goal ever? I want to ask your experience.
[07:41] I can speak to them because I had the chance to coach a lot of families. I had a chance to talk, interview, serving a lot of families. And we are up to 4,000 families we have been interacting with. So 8.5 % of the families that we talked to says that the number 1 thing next to their life is their family. However, we followed that up and we ask them a simple question, how many of you have one single written down goals specific to your family and less than 10% of them can keep the hands up. Now go step further we worked with companies, businesses that have written mission statements, Ziglar has the mission statements, family has the mission statement, whoever out there is listening we know your company’s mission statement. When I ask if these family has the mission statement, less than 1% can keep their hands up. Yet we say it is the most important thing in our lives next to our faith. But we can not function in business and in our world without some goals without mission statements, without knowing where we are going.
[10:53] Do you find that, I wonder that a significant or a pretty stereo typical, work comes first for lot of people, you know business, may be health and wellness, may be faith and parenting & family may come last. How do you turn turn the tables?
[11:40] When I begin talking to the family and what I had the initial call, the initial get to know each other, you know it is no different than meeting in the grocery store, you say hi, you say how is the family and everybody respond in usual i.e. great, they are doing good. Whatever they say, when you peel that onion back, just the couple of layers, you will find that every single family out there is struggling with something.
[13:45] And the biggest message that I have for families, while I am trying to live my own life, is that we are not supposed to be alone. We don’t have to walk alone on this earth. That is why we have husband and wives, we have couples but the reality is families do not need to be alone. You aren’t supposed to be in families alone.
[15:51] If you close your eyes and look twenty years from now and you are having the families in union and it is the perfect scenario, right the kids are there, the grand kids are there, the values, the principles, everything you believe is there. You said that Family are messing. So if our vision in twenty years in the future is this masterpiece, this creation and it is not just given our kids, now they can make the decisions with wisdom, they can make choices. It is how they grow up and raise their families.
[20:20] Mark, when you talk about the legacy, I see my oldest kid is 22, I have 21, 20…. and when I see them doing great in schools or work or sports, but that doesn’t speak to the character, I have the testimony of the character, there is nothing that gives me, that humbles me more, that gives me more gratitude. While talking about this you mentioned the word community, I want to draw your attention to ziglarfamily.com, please go there as there are so many things that gives you the opportunity that we don’t get.
[22:00] The reality of myself as I am listening to this message on family, we know more about positivity. However, in this case I am positive that more people are tangible aware of the problems in their family. And I am wondering in a very visual sense, what are the primary pain points that we experience when our family is merely surviving or merely existing?
[25:32] I can tell you that the impact that it has is wide spread, as you said that it impacts our health, it impacts our wellness, it impacts our relationship inside and outside of our home, and I can tell you that the number one challenge, the number one problem that families are facing; I can tell you now after all the families we are teaching, communicating with, the number one challenge is communication. Families have forgotten how to communicate. And also as the time is changing so rapidly that we are challenged to how to do a meaningful communication. When you have the absence of communication then there will be chaos.
[29:55] Stop doing evil and then do good. You got to stop the bad and then start doing good. When I see in today’s family, it has been more complicated as there are fifty things to compete in place of one. You can be gone for 1 or 2 or 3 days, and when you are home you got emails on your cell phone and you are on your emails all over before getting into bed.
[35:53] Mark tells the real story of his son of last night where Mark was completely into replying to his emails and text while his son wants to share what he did with the aquarium. Mark realizes that this cell phone, the technologies we have, the reason I was looking at it, is because it is a lot easier to look at the text message at that moment than it must be all present to my son. I think technology keeps us from main thing. And it is so much easier to look at the technologies, to look at the social media and interact with the people who aren’t at home than with the people who are present and who are truly matters in your life. So you ask me what we need to do. So we need to keep this technology away some place where it will be charge for our use and present yourself with people.
[44:25] One of the big message that we have in the Ziglar family and that is the inspiration for the entire seven days’ challenge is that we need balance in our lives. And all the families that we coach are way out of balance.
[49:15] There are two things that popped out from every family that we talked to and that is, there is a deep desire to be on this journey with other families who have been experiencing the same thing. So the first thing is that they wanted to be the part of the community, they wanted to be the part of the journey where other families are experiencing the same thing what they are experiencing. The second thing is that they believe and I believe, and I found this to be true in every case in every family has something unique to offer other families. There is something special about every single family.
[52:23] The one of the question I was prepared to ask is what are the primary things that handicapped our family health and I think you said that it is a lack of communication.
[53:51] Communication about finance, the number one reason that finance is such an issue with families is because they don’t talk about it. And so finance is a really tough thing. Health, physical health, you will find that the families are talking about physical health is going in the right direction. If they are not talking about, it is going in the wrong direction. That is why I emphasis communication but these all areas are really important. But it has to do with our ability to talk about it.
[01:01:13] You talk a lot about the goal of Ziglar family is to help family succeed, to help them win. Obviously we all find things differently but when we look at that you are telling that there is success and what is there for me out of this.
[01:02:21] I can tell you it is different for every family. The goal of the Ziglar family is to meet the families exactly what they are. We want to meet you exactly what you are. The mission we have is very simple, we want to help families, be more do more so they can have more. And the obvious question is what is more? And that is the cruelest part of this whole journey, is that every family has to sit down and decide what more is. I believe when family is created, they had dreams. Every single family that I talked about they sit and go back to their dreams they had for kids, they had for marriage, but a long way life had gotten away. Family got messy and life got messy and they forgot what those dreams are.
[01:03:48] If you go to the Ziglarfamily.com, you will see the mission is to help families, be, do and have more. And the awesome stuff is that they need to sit down as a family and decide what that more is. And when they decided what that more is, we are so loaded with the resource to make that more into reality. One family looks for peace while another family is looking for prosperity, etc. What I can promise you is this, if you are willing to get on the journey, if you will join the journey, if you are going to get on the path, we are going to ask you do something and that is to sit down and decide what more is. The Ziglar family will help you be, do, and have. So wherever you are, whatever you do, we are here to provide you the resources that help you to get that destination.
[01:08:53] Everybody knows that there is something magical about three. If you at least share this with three people, if you will take this challenge, you will get along on this journey together with other families, the likelihood of that you take the challenge, doesn’t just go up times three. It goes up to multiples of three. And that what we are looking for. I am gonna say that share this with multiple families, at least with three families about this challenge.