[00:00] Welcome to The Ziglar Show, episode 475. I am your host Kevin Miller. Today we have Mr. Zig Ziglar, bringing us a message on the opportunities we have, but the reality it will take hard work and overcoming. If you don’t want a normal life of mediocrity, you’ll have to step out of the crowd. And that is the main message and doing that …is hard. Harder than we realize, so we break it down today.
[01:19] ASK – In our shows we’ve had so many great interviewees we’ve wanted to bring you that we’ve not done a Q&A session with Tom Ziglar and myself in a good while. So we have one planned. But you can get your question in and we’ll work to address it, in the show or otherwise, just go to ask.zigshow.com or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. While you may submit questions about any show or show topic, we are interested to hear your questions on Show 473, titled “Deny Reality – Zig Style” where I played a clip from Zig and he told a personal story of being in really bad circumstances and appropriately, feeling fearful, doubtful and scared. Then how a special message turned his perspective around, and he turned the results around. The circumstances were still bad, but he didn’t accept that he then had to have bad results. And he didn’t. It’s a huge, life altering topic, and the difference between being in the gutter or in a mansion. Tom Ziglar and I would very much like to address your questions. Listen to show 473 if you haven’t, or if you have, I’d strongly encourage you to listen again. Then submit your questions in writing or a voice message at ask.zigshow.com or email us at email@example.com
[02:54] Next show, episode 476 we bring you Dr Kristin Neff. Many of you will know her from her TED talk on self-compassion that has over 800k views. Her book is titled “Self Compassion”, but what hooked me and caused me to invite her on The Ziglar Show was her studies and research and message of self esteem and the stake of putting others down and having to be better than others. And the negative affects that causes. It’s an incredibly insightful study we all need to understand, because we are all a part of it.
[03:55] Zig starts telling stories.
[10:14] Zig leads off by stating: There is room at the top, but obstacles. The toughest part is getting out of the crowd at the bottom.
[10:23] That understanding is critical and I’ll guarantee you don’t realize how it DOES affect you and you can be much more empowered in your journey.
[14:54] Crucial to understand. Sometimes you may have a desire and an understanding and a will to do something great, but it’s very daunting to commit to because doing so will require you to step outside of the norm. In which case we first have to deal with…Who are we to do something different?
[15:15] Which has two parts:
- Who are we…if we struggle with our self image and whether we actually have it in us to do anything more than the norm, or
- Who are we…if we do believe in ourselves, but the notion feels prideful or self-aggrandizing.
[15:48] If you struggle with the first, I’d recommend getting Zig Ziglar’s world changing book and all time best seller, “See You At The Top”, and working on your lagging self-image. And go immediately to ziglar.com/selftalk, get your self talk cards and start doing them!
[16:26] But if you are number two and it feels hard elevate yourself to stepping out of the crowd, I understand. You’re in good company. But let me give you another way to look at it. If you are on the beach with a hundred people and you see a child out in the water, in danger, if you go to their rescue, does that make you superior? No, just willing. Maybe no one else sees the kid. Maybe some do but can’t swim. Maybe some do but are expecting someone else to go to the rescue. Who knows! Either way, you aren’t going to let the kid drown, right? What you feel called to do is your responsibility…to do. Not because you are better. Only because you have the desire.
[17:29] Now to reality in regards to Zig’s statement, to understand some of the dynamics of your crowd…Even if those closest to you with you the best intentions for you…when you strive for something more, it’s hard for it to not feel a bit threatening to them. They see you as one of them, and it’s more comforting to all stay in the same place. If you get off the couch and go for a run, they will struggle with shame for themselves not getting off the couch.
[18:27] Hey, if you have someone who will cheer for you, count yourself massively blessed. That’s not being negative, it’s just dealing with reality.
[18:46] But if you’ll risk the discomfort and possibly out right criticism…you can get free. And ultimately when you succeed, you will give your crowd permission to soar themselves. So many family legacies changed because…one person went to college. One person got out of poverty. One person started a business. One person became a leader and influencer and abundant. One person got well.
[19:09] Cultural pressure. Don’t underestimate it, it’s the number one enemy.
- Dave Ramsey knows it as he’s trying to free people from debt. He says you have to live like nobody else so you can live like nobody else. He knows the cultural pressure to not spend like everyone else and make financial cut backs in your life and home is hard. Hard to tell your kids you aren’t going out to eat with everyone else, or going to the movie like everyone else, tell your coworkers you’re not going out because you are cutting your spending, or telling your spouse you need to stick with the older car, etc.
- True Life – eating and living a healthy and well lifestyle. It’s hard, even more so with kids. But it’s life or death.
[21:00] To Zig’s mention of the ad he ran promoting making 20k or 50k and getting such a dramatically higher response to the lower figure…because few people can see themselves earning more and being more capable.
[21:17] Let me put that in a different perspective. Imagine someone ran an ad for a position that you were qualified for, but one offered $75k and one offered $175k per year. Can you see yourself earning $175? If not, why? Why NOT you?
[21:39] Zig hit again on saying “There are front row seats available, but they aren’t going to come to you! There are obstacles to climb, but they really are climbable. How do you climb obstacles?
[21:55] So let me reference the Bible and a couple issues that handicap my Christian brethren…and sometimes myself as well.
[22:04] 1. Zig says the open front row seats won’t come to you. I hear many times where people are “waiting on the Lord,” and I’m often reminded of Oliver Wendell Holmes, who famously quoted that. Many people die with their music still in them. Folks, I experience many people who die…waiting on the Lord. And the Lord was there waiting on them to get moving so he could direct them. I’m a fan of active waiting. Go knock, here and there as you are seeking the Lord’s direction. Knock on doors. Don’t beat them down, but also, don’t sit and wait for the doors to come to you.
[23:17] 2. There will be obstacles says Zig. Folks, this statement and reality has fatally ended many a glorious success. If we believe something is meant to be, God ordained, our intellect, logic and heart naturally expects it to work out. To make sense. Yet time and time again we have stories where God said, “Go, do this.” And the character turns around to do it and finds the door out is locked and they have no key. That just does not make sense to our skulls. I have read the story of Moses so many times to help me deal with something I believe God is leading me in, but the obstacles just seem insurmountable and downright ridiculous. Mean even. But Moses. God had to talk him into leading the people out of Egypt. Moses finally did. And what happened: God hardened Pharaohs heart and we have the long story of the plagues. They came to the red sea with no hope of crossing. They ran out of food and water. How does this make sense? Most of us would have turned around to do God’s will and as soon as the Pharaoh said no, deemed that we didn’t really hear God. We must have been wrong. I had a friend who was a pastor long ago say that he often wasn’t sure if he’d heard God, or just had a bad burrito.
[24:36] But I also had a friend say, “Does it make sense that God would call us to anything that did not require Him? Would He give us a task that we could do without Him?” That resonated with me and got me more on terms with taking a leading from the Lord and expecting that it would render me powerless and calling on Him to help.
[25:09] But it’s completely illogical to my flesh. I have a big endeavor right now, that I absolutely feel confident God is leading me in. And it feels absolutely overwhelming and I’m often left not knowing what to do next.
[25:27] Then folks, after all the talk about stepping out of the crowd, Zig addresses how much we need for Friends
[25:37] And let me offer this, when you step out of the crowd, possibly the number one thing you can do to empower yourself and secure your success, is make friends with others who have stepped out of the crowd. There is nothing that will increase your faith and belief more than a community of kindred spirits. I believe the biggest benefit of health clubs, church, college, weight watchers and more is not their teaching or equipment or program, but simply being with kindred spirits who have a similar goal.
[26:14] Zig then ends by telling us just how to make those friends. Be interested in them and encourage their value. Not talk about yourself. Not try to impress them.
[26:28] Again, hard to do. Against our human nature. Which brings us to summarize Zig’s entire message by saying…if you don’t want the norm, if you need to step out of the crowd, you’ll need to believe and act…abnormally.
[27:00] Thanks for being here with me as we inspire our true performance together by being…abnormal. See you in the next show.