[00:00] Welcome to The Ziglar Show where we inspire your…true performance. I’m your host, Kevin Miller, and today I’m with co-host Michelle Prince and we are bringing you round three with Jordan Harbinger. Today is our ZigBomb episode. Jordan was on-stage at a live event; he was MCing in Las Vegas, and he gave us his favorite Ziglar quote, and why. Then, this is interesting: I had been taking our guests’ quotes and crafting questions around them…and posting them to the Ziglar Facebook page, which has nearly 4.5 million fans. We get many, many comments. This time, however, I posted to my personal Facebook page at agentkmiller. We’ve never gotten so many in-depth, authentic comments. So much that it was really hard to filter through and decide what to bring you, as it was too much to share them all. On that note, you are welcome to “friend” me at agentkmiller on Facebook, as I’ll be posting a question around our guests’ ZigBomb every week.
[03:10] So, what is the question I posted that provoked so many deep comments? Let me first play the clip from Jordan Harbinger, our featured and prior guest in episodes 489 and 490.
[03:18] OK, coming from Jordan’s favorite Ziglar quote: “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want,” I posted on my Facebook page: “While the concept sounds all well and great, where have you had success or challenge in living this concept out? What concerns and/or feedback do you have regarding the statement? Be as raw and honest as you will.” And people were…raw and honest. I’m going to bring on Michelle Prince now, and talk through some of the comments.
[04:04] Thanks to Joey, who just left a five-star review in iTunes testifying to Tom Ziglar, right after some grumpy soul left a stinger about Tom. If you want to show some support to the family and message of Ziglar, please help us by leaving a review in iTunes!
[04:26] OK, folks, here we go!
[04:28] Ok, Michelle, before we dive into this question, I know you are here at the end of the good, long, full day on working with folks on a book project. Folks, if you are thinking of writing a book again, please go through michelleprince.com, where you can get involved with her and can write your book. Ok,so out of curiosity, what are the topics of the three books you are working on now?
[04:55] Ok, so one on which I am working right now is a pastor has written a book sharing his views on everything faith-related. It is amazing. We just finished a children’s book. I don’t usually do children’s books, but this one is special. And this one is an 18-year-old, who has a very inspiring story which we are putting into a children’s book. And the other one I am working on today is a business card book.
[05:55] So dive in, I’ve really got some interesting stuff here:
[06:03 ] Jeremy James: I feel that this quote is true in that people have deep-seated needs (or wants) for encouragement, positivity, and gratitude. In other words, everyone needs (or wants) to feel appreciated, heard, and valued. I think that it’s human nature that when someone gives you that, especially when it’s unexpected and/or from a stranger, it can produce benefits for the “sower” of those feelings. Now, it’s easy to “fake” that by throwing false signs of those things, but, in the end, relationships are just like a formula – if you give, you get.
[06:36] So, I am gonna pair this with Audrey Steele: sounds good at first glance, but, honestly, it could be the motto of a drug dealer, just as well. Sometimes what other people want is selfish, materialistic, or even self-destructive. Will we help them get those things in order to fulfill our own desire for things we may or may not need? Example: prosperity doctrine pastors, who tell people what they want to hear and teach them to expect only blessings from God, are often extremely popular and rich as a result…sometimes at the expense of the people they are supposedly “helping.” Not a good thing, in my opinion. I think Jesus had it right when He taught us to die to what we think we want so He can bring us to life and give us joy as we bring others to life and give them joy.
[07:21] OK, I shared these two first for a reason, as it brings out…what DO other people want? Are we to help them get the things, like Jeremy said…encouragement, positivity, and gratitude? Or help them get the things they want?
[08:06] I think there is no final answer for the question of what we want. Everyone wants something different, everyone has different needs. If I could picture what Zig was thinking when he put this quote together…but for me as I look on, it is like you could be someone else before your own needs; you know, love others first then you can get in return more than you could ever imagine. I think you need to think of someone else before you do for yourself; that is actually when you get the rewards. It is about you don’t get if you don’t give.
[11:26] Jeff Jones: I feel like a legitimate concern is understanding that it is based on relationships and a process. The results do not necessarily come overnight. It requires a long-term investment in the life of others; therefore, it can be discouraging to stay the course in the instant gratification society we live in today.
[12:13] I paired this with Gregory Byerline: Understanding that we’re really talking about seed planting, and sometimes crops take a long time to grow, if they’re able to take root in fertile soil in the first place.
[12:29] Further, the willingness to help others get what they want has to be sincere, and without expectation of receiving something from those whom you have helped. Sometimes what comes back to you comes from a different source.
[12:40] I like both of them, but two points came for me, Michelle: One is realizing this is a long-term thing. This isn’t work tomorrow. This is like, let’s work for 30 days and I am gonna help someone. And two, what if we are helping and we find that benefits can come in a different way? So, the big part is comprehensive and perspective in this.
[13:38] I totally agree. You know, when I was hearing this I was thinking when I was a kid, I remember I being in an elementary school. I remember somebody saying to me if you want to have more friends; you have to be a friend. So don’t go out looking for friend, but go out looking to be a friend. And friends will come following. It is like we want. You seek to give before you get. It is truly an “eventually” rule that what you give is what you get. It is very specific, where you put your energy, your potential on being a human being, is exactly what you get in return. So it is a fine line between trust and faith. Trust is when you are doing a right thing over again and over again consistently, and you are getting in return much more than you will expect.
[18:58] Christopher Dunston: For me, marriage has been the ultimate proving ground for that principle. Too many times, people enter any relationship — business or personal — with the sole intent of receiving. It’s only when we focus on satisfying the needs of another that our needs become a concern to them. Marriage is a microcosm for the much larger infrastructure of business, but the landscape holds the same truth. Taking care of them makes them want to take care of you; thinking of their needs makes them think about your needs. Being married has enhanced my life in many ways…one of the most unexpected ways is enhancing my business sense.
[20:24] You know, my first thought is some people will hear this and think I have been serving and serving my spouse forever and all they do is take. This is the first thought that came into my mind, not in my marriage, but for those people I have known were there at that place. And I had walked with those people.
[20:55] This is a great analogy, and I am so glad he brought up the marriage thing as it is a perfect example. Because a lot of time, love is not a feeling, it is an action, really. And so many times our spouses don’t feel like loving, but you do it because a lot of time you think that serving them is a right thing to do. But it is not easy.
[23:54] Christopher C. Hill: You know, in the early days, I stuck close to this mantra and it was what kept me going and being generous when it didn’t seem like the small, daily efforts I was doing were ever going to pay off… Now, I am starting to see it in action, but I would be lying if I said that, at times, having this mindset isn’t discouraging
[24:11] And then, Keith Barton: I don’t think it’s necessarily served me in the capacity of getting what I want. There’s something to be said for helping me feel better by trying to serve others, though.
[24:24] Well, so that took me back to show 464 with Shaunti Feldhahn. And she talked about what it does for us, regardless of reciprocity from the receiver.
[27:04] You know, what psychologist say about anger and forgiveness is that really, the only person that gets hurt in the long run, you know, if you are abused or someone did something horrible to you after marriage, and you are angry and you are holding that; that hurts you more. So forgive that person. I know it is difficult, but forgiveness will bring to you that happiness, that joy.
[27:56] Greg Goodman: The challenge is that people do not truly want what they think they want. That is, once they have “it,” then “it” is not satisfying. Not for long, anyway. A solution I have found is that if someone sees me serving another person, and that person is inspired to serve someone else… then I believe it will continue to bless others in the future.
[29:40] One thing I wanna detach with this is, some people don’t know what they want and that is the fundamental issue here. Maybe people are not clear for what their folks really need. So, it really needs you to be clear on what do you want to accomplish, what kind of relationship do you wanna have, what kind of profession or business do you wanna have? Once you have a bit clarity on this, then it will become a lot easier.
[32:12] That’s great. You said, too, about what you want. We just recorded an interview four or five days ago with Greg McKeown. He is the author of the book Essentialism, which is a best-seller. And he has gotten into the same thing, that you can’t be an essentialist without knowing what you want, your goals and your directions.
[32:48] Jodie Butler: God placed a soft spot in my heart for veterans. I’ve helped feed homeless vets I’ll never meet. We flew 900+ WWII Veterans to DC on Honor Flights to see their Memorial, at zero cost to them. I wear RED every Friday to Remember Everyone Deployed! I love United States veterans!
[33:22] When I was diagnosed as the only person in the world with my genetic mutation, we knew it would be a long, hard battle. Who do you think was the first to line up at my door to help? That’s right…US veterans. I mean hundreds of them.
[33:33] They knew that they captured a piece of my heart and could count on me for anything. They have reciprocated over and over again.
[33:48] That bring tears to my eyes, it is so wonderful. It is a perfect example of what this is really all about. He didn’t go in to help veterans with any other intentions, but only that he knew from his heart that he wants this, he felt privilege to do it. It returns to that if you wanna have friends you have to be a friend. What a wonderful story.
[35:15] Evan Desjardins – CEO of Ziglar: I apply it to every single engagement I have with another person. It requires an enormous amount of flexibility and faith, as you really get “into it” with people. It means SERVICE!
[36:52] I think when I was reading that when he says flexibility and faith, when you are going to a meeting, you are not thinking about your gender. You are coming to a place where you serve others; you are coming to a place where you say what can I do to you to serve better? and that just releases all kinds of pressure — and I think it gives you the flexibility to feel who you are.
[37:30] Again, I will tip everybody off. We have an upcoming interview with Michael Junior. If you don’t know who he is, then he is a comedian. You know I am gonna give you a punch line from his story that everything changed for him personally and professionally, like Zig. Michael Junior said, “You know what the benefit of being a comedian is, is that you get a laugh.”
[42:19] Michelle, thank you so much for giving us an insight. It is a gift doing this with you.
[42:26] Folks, I hope you got value from this show, I sure did. Sometimes your feedback teaches me more than the message itself. Again, you can connect with me on Facebook, where I post these weekly questions at agentkmiller. Coming up in three days is episode 492 with Greg McKeown, famed author of the book Essentialism. And let me tell you, you’ll leave the conversation looking at your life differently, and with far greater hope! And, please, if you’ve gotten value from a show or the Ziglar family, please help us get out to others by leaving a review in iTunes. Thanks for being here where we walk together, inspiring our true performance.