Highlights with Tim:
When we talk about love, in the professional context it equals our commitment to promote growth and success in other peoples lives.
What Tim took from Zig Ziglar: We absolutely have control with how we design our life to be a positive and helpful influence. Positivity comes from living a conscious lifestyle design.
Success is a not a destination but a direction, and it’s a direction forward. If you struggle with longing for a time before when things were different, when you were “on top”, ask yourself: what were you doing back then, that you aren’t doing now?
Promoting other’s successes selflessly:
- Creates an outstanding personal brand and that leads to you getting access to people and resources because people promote people that promote people.
- There is an intense loyalty that is generated from your devotion your life to encouraging others in their success selflessly.
- If loving people as a leader means you intelligently share what you know, you will always be gaining knowledge. The more you share, the more you learn.
– Your source of motivation has real consequences on your spirituality and your psychic energy. Bad energy is bad for the engine, so choose consciously where your motivation is coming from.
– We have to be motivated by the right things, when we get down to the root of our desires.
– It’s toxic to give your critics the power, to let some random person’s negative sayings of you be the creator of life as you move forward. This means the difference between a fear factor being involved versus a purpose factor.
– The one thing Tim would discourage anybody to do is to be motivated by “showing them”. Who are you going ot help while you’re “showing them”?
– Motivation to accomplish not to accumulate.
– “There are thousands of path’s to success but does your path have a good heart? If it does then it’s a good path”.
Love is the Killer App:
How do we share our knowledge with others as a gift, without sounding like a know-it-all? Express your knowledge with an authoritative reference. Study whatever you want to impart as if you were a student.
To every conversation, bring a gift.
Your network is the greatest resource you have, so you obviously want to be intelligent of how you share and grow that network with others.
Sharing compassion: Find your expression of love, and have the courage to say it.
We need to partner with the people following us, for people find the success they’re looking for.
Make sure to go to timsanders.com/ziglar to get a 5,000 word excerpt from Love is the Killer App, a way to get in contact with Tim Sanders and a recommended list of reads for you!
[00:15] Welcome to the Ziglar Show, where we inspire your true performance! I’m your host Kevin Miller and today Tom Ziglar and I bring you an incredibly inspiring discussion with Tim Sanders to talk about…love in the workplace. No, we’re not talking anything elicit, we are talking about possibly the number one way and fastest way to accelerate your career, business, income and life. And Tim completely knows what he’s talking about, as he spent most of his early career on the cutting edge of innovation and change. He was an early stage member of Mark Cuban’s Broadcast.com, which had the largest opening day IPO in history. After Yahoo acquired the company, Tim was tapped to lead their ValueLab, and by 2001, he rose to the executive position of Chief Solutions Officer, and was promoted to Leadership Coach before leaving the company. In 2005, he founded Deeper Media, which provides consulting services for leading brands. He’s one of the top speakers on the lecture circuit.
[01:20] Tim is the author of four books, including the New York Times bestseller Love Is the Killer App, How To Win Business & Influence Friends. It’s been translated into over a dozen languages and has been featured in Fast Company, USA Today, the New York Times, The Boston Globe, Christian Science Monitor and on CNN.
[01:40] In the show we cover that Tim feels he’s the Evangelist of love based leadership, how is upbringing shaped him, as His mom abandoned him and his Dad was murdered. Tim says ‘we are the director of our movie, we have control of our life design”. And his three focal points in Love Is The Killer App are:
And we break this down.
[03:19] Alright folks, you’re going to like this…let’s dive in with Tom Ziglar and…Tim Sanders:
[03:25] To quote from Jerry McGuire, “you had me at hello”, you had me right off the bat in your book “Love is the killer app” when you cited Bob Marley as one of the premier ministers of all time. On what note…welcome!
[03:38] Hey Bob is my guy, what a piece maker, what a big thinker. The story about Bob Marley is: I first discovered him, when I was in college and I was just finished college and I was supposed to go to law school and I heard Bob Marley is playing near the school.
[04:20] Looking at all your work, it’s got to be tempting to now just give yourself the overall title of…evangelist. What would you say if you are attach to like you are the Evangelist of____?”
[04:40] I am evangelist of love based leaderships. There is anything I talked about is the thread of everything I do, everything I talked about and it’s the idea of you will find the success when you are promoting success. When I say love, I always think about in professional context and that’s our commitment to promote growth and success in other people’s life, and that’s what I talked about.
[10:40] You wrote that book and there is some quote that you can read on easily and you didn’t need 300 – 500 words to make the point, is that right?
[10:52] Yeah, 24,000 manuscripts. It is written in a style that can be read in 3 hours or less. And it is written in a style that when you read book you will go ahead and finish it. This is because this book is about reading more books.
[17:11] My agent Jen Miller, she is a great human being. She once taught me that the best marketing for a book is the book. She said you gotta wright a book that works, you gotta write a book that sells, because great books work. A book works because it connects to the reader at deep level, it changes the way they see the world, and most importantly they give the optimisation of what they can do. So I kind of captured that idea. So when you are writing a book and suddenly you started writing the marketing plan, just stop it. Just focus on writing a great book.
[18:05] I do wanna dig into love is a killer app somewhat but when you talk about connecting to readers and you mention story so much part of your book, I got so much about you and your humanity from your book. So I wanna read something that you sent us and on the personal point of view, you said that: “I was raised in a farmhouse in Eastern New Mexico, where the main books in our library were Power of Positive Thinking, Think and Grow Rich, As a Man Thinketh, The Magic of Believing and of course, the Bible. In 1976, my grandmother added See You at the Top, and I have to say, it changed my life. The book taught me to take control of my attitude, my thought patterns and how to deal with setbacks in life. And did I have setbacks! I went from Short Bus Sanders (special education from 2nd to 6th grade) to Senior Class President…in part, because of what I learned from Zig. I quoted him extensively in my valedictorian address at graduation in 1979. Since then, the Ziglar perspective has been tightly integrated into my own, and influenced my first book Love Is the Killer App: How To Win Business and Influence Friends. But even with those readings and influences…being exposed to them, you still hit hard times personally. Would you say they were seeds that took root that you came back to?
[19:31] I mean that was highly influential, I mean let me tell you what I took away from Zig’s work, if I back off and thing about it years and years later. What Zig said, we are the director of our movie, we absolutely have control with how we do design our lives to be a positive and helpful person. Zig never said you to think positive, he said you need to lead a life that generate positivity. But I took away from his words is this: Positive thinking is not some prescription to give someone, positive thinking is an outcome of very conscious lifestyle, the decisions you made, people that you choose to hangout with.
[30:20] Father alternative lifestyle, murdered…devastating, on a very personal note…go a question for you. you’re mother abandoned you in a hotel. In show 483 we interviewed Rabbi Evan Moffic. In his book “The Happiness Prayer” he has ten steps. Number on is…honor those who gave you life. And it’s not for their sake, it’s for our own. This hit me because I have adopted kids who come from hard stories. Have you been able to do this with your mom?
[31:40] You know I have a different prospective because my own personal experience. I do believe we honor those who give us life and I have honor for my natural mother and my father but I also believe that sometimes God gives us new parents. I got a new mom. And because God had a plan for me and Billy was ready to step up when this went down she saw that Athena my mom wasn’t ready for this and this wasn’t in her plan and she stepped in. I want to honor those who gave me life. I think of really as much as anyone right. My son on Anthony he started to know he came into my life when he was four but I’ve never called him a stepchild. He honors me as if I gave him life because I think about it. He simply sort of did, what’s so interesting about it is that his father is one of my best friends because I made the decision about a year after I got married and you know it was a deep part of my life I made the decision that he deserved a relationship directly with his father. And he deserved to get to call his birth father Dad while he call me Tim and I’m, I was cool with that and his dad was invited over to our house and Thanksgiving and we went to Cowboys games together we became good friends because I do value, the idea that person that gave you life should be a part of your life. So again I just have a different perspective on it and so little more I’m just going to say it’s a little more inclusive of everybody that gets involved and makes the time investment, so you can imagine we all get together and company comes over and they kind of meet all of this together at once.
[33:54] One of the most quoted books on this show, after Zig’s is: How to win friends and influence people – Dale Carnegie. On the front cover of your first book, Love Is The Killer App, you have written: How to win business and influence friends. Tell us the differentiating factor?
[34:12] Well that deals book was a huge influence on my life and and it was because it what he really brought to our attention is that people have feelings and we should be compassionate about their feelings and a lot of the advice he gives us about how to be conscientious, generous, other people’s feelings, it’s been misinterpreted by some people over the years you can imagine but he wrote that book I’m after being a Y.M.C.A. instructor and seeing a lot of people down on their luck and he realizes they need to have a different point of view. So when we wrote our book Love is the killer app, we were looking for a subtitle that helped people file this book under. So here’s another publishing thing I’ve learned a subtitle is a strap line that helps someone at a bookstore know how to file that book or subtitle is a strap line that makes a promise that if you read this book you’re going to get X. And so I’ve always loved how to use those titles and so just a nod to Carnegie’s legacy the book is really about you know how do you win the business.
[35:48] Twice on our show we’ve had Dina Dwyer Owens of the Dwyer group. Her company she cites as a “values based business” and her first book was “Values Inc”. It’s about doing business the right way for the right reasons…integrity, respect, love…as you would get to. BUT…the big caveat is they also do about $2 billion per year. So it’s doing the right thing, and making a fortune from it. I feel this flavor is your focus on leading with love at work…it’s not just the right thing to do, but the most profitable?
[36:36] Yes You know we talked about this in it in the book extensively because we wanted to lay out the business benefits not that you would do this to get the benefits but we wanted people to understand that if you choose this path to success you will still reach milestones in your journey forward, that are measurable. So the first thing we’ve learned is that when you devote yourself to promote other people’s success especially when you do it without expectation of return. I’m not doing it to get anything surprise and delight factor when you do that you build an outstanding personal brand, and that outstanding personal brand leads to you getting access to people that most others don’t and I experience that first hand, it was a motivator for me to write the book I couldn’t believe that as an account executive I’m going to sit across the table from Jack Welch or give George Bush Jr advice on fundraising where it sit across the table from the board of directors at Sony who would think that I count executives who just work for a guy named Mark Cuban the year before would have that kind of access but you do. Because people promote people that promote people. And so the second thing that I’ve learned is that it generates an intense loyalty to you because what I’ve learned is things go wrong expectations aren’t met markets change things things go wrong, and when you’ve devoted yourself to promoting other person’s success they will fight for you in those moments. And they will stick with you through thick or thin and there’s a variety of other things I’ve learned but the main thing I’ve learned is that if loving people as a leader means you intelligently share what you know.
[55:45] I want to hit the highlights in “Love is the killer app” so people can be sure to digest them. Your three focal points are:
So number one, sharing knowledge. You showcase it as knowing as much as you can about your realm of work and business and trade and expertise, and giving helpful knowledge to others that will help them. AS in Zig’s favourite quote, “You can have everything in life you want if you’ll help enough other people get what they want.”. How can people navigate sharing knowledge to help people and it coming off as that…an attempt to help, and not coming off as a know-it-all? We all know those folks…
[56:37] When times are changing, people are searching for answers. And when you share knowledge that you’ve invested time to acquire and you share it with people to help them deal with change or solve problems in their life, that is the foundation of a strong business relationships. It’s what you lead with in a relationship but you have to commit yourself to being a student, and not just an average student a better student than anyone you know, because you could come off as a know it all but hey you know if you researched it all you come up with smart.
[1:00:15] Second is Network, you talk about matchmaking…and sometimes that getting us into trouble in our personal lives. But you say business matchmaking is different. Explain:
[1:00:45] Improve your technique that’s what I say when a person says I network and bad things happen then it’s that you need to be a better networker or great networkers think about the people they put together, the personality mix the parity between those people, if they’re someone who is a significant benefactor and a needy beneficiary you need to think about that very cautiously, you need to improve your technique and I thought a lot about this when I was writing the book, your network is your greatest greatest network. It’s the number one asset you have is in the being you own it outright, no downturns going to take it away from you so you obviously want to be highly intelligent about how you share your network with others. You know my different way of thinking is that you have to have different conversations, so you stop asking people what do you do when you meet them at events, you ask instead what you’re working on you’re excited about, you need to listen more than you talk, you need to lay in wait for them to describe problems and obstacles and needs for resources that might reveal to you someone you can introduce them to.
[1:03:35] The next one is compassion I’m going to come back full circle, we actually started and you talked about this in regards to your publisher to have the word love in a business book. So I’m curious about that because the Five Love Languages Gary Chapman a great look one of the best sellers of all time and he got word that people were using that in a workplace scenario and just changing the verbiage a little bit which led him to write the five languages of appreciation in the workplace, he did that with Dr Paul White who we interviewed while ago but a great book Love that, however I do hear you saying no no just keep the love in there, keep the love and you’ve done that with such great success. So I don’t want people to discount that because they say I’m just not that kind of per I’m just not that kind of person.
[1:04:33] You know where when you were a kid and they got all covered up by managers that told you you’re too nice, it got deterred by situations or maybe you said something and people treated you a little bit differently, you don’t love people because of who they are you love people because of who you are and you can use whatever words make the most sense to you but what I want you to express to those you depend on the leaders. I want you to express that you care about them, you love them, you’re accountable for their success, I coached, I had a good yesterday and promise me to ask the same question that I was like, Well I’ll say and I love you so it’s not my style anybody that knew me would know, that’s a real break from my style and I’m like well what do you say to somebody who becomes a real buddy, not it works in your life also a lot.
[1:11:54] Thank you so much Tim, thank you for being here, giving us your time, your message, your story, your heart and most of all your love with feeling. Again don’t miss this, go to timsanders.com/Ziglar show to get your five thousand pages excerpt. It’s really enough to get the real meat of the book Love is the killer app, again straight from his publisher plus a couple other goodies there and if you want to give a love offering to Ziglar please go to iTunes and leave a review. Coming up next in show 502, I’ll take you behind the scenes to Tim Sanders life as we walk through the seven spokes of the Ziglar wheel of life and hear what Tim’s daily habits are to keep him healthy and thriving evokes. Thank you for walking with me as we inspire our trooper formants together.