We have a word from Zig Ziglar then a Q&A session with myself and Michelle Prince regarding this question we posted on Facebook, “Do you ever speak positivity to yourself in an effort to increase your morale? If so, share? If you do not, why?” The question came from Zig himself from a short clip we play right at the head of the show. Zig sets us up and then we dive into some significant responses from our listening audience. Thanks to Ziglar Family 7 Day Challenge 7daychallenge.com and LinkedIn Riches linkedinriches.com/ziglar for supporting this show.
[00:00] Welcome to The Ziglar Show, where we inspire your true performance. I’m your host Kevin Miller and today we have a word from Zig Ziglar then a Q&A session with myself and Michelle Prince regarding this question from Zig’s talk which we posted on Facebook, “Do you ever speak positivity to yourself in an effort to increase your morale? If so, share? If you don’t, why not?” The question came from Zig himself, and I’ll give it to you…right here!
[01:30] So there you go, right from the legends mouth. Now then, that question, “Do you ever speak positivity to yourself in an effort to increase your morale? If so, share? If you don’t, why not?” We received so many amazing responses. Which we’ll dive into…now:
[02:05] OK Michelle, quiz for you…the very first comment to the question was this. Can you name who said that? – Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live, 1991 , Al Franken, now a US Senator: I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me.
[03:02] Steve Rosen: Yes, I do speak positivity to myself. I figured someone needs to stand up against the buzzkill between my ears.
[03:32] It’s just we had chatter, it is based on our beliefs, it may be based on what people have told us, but you are right, most of this is negative. It is not like oh great you can do this. Those are the things we have to work on affirmations.
[04:22] Marvin Penick: Speaking doesn’t seem to work but writing does. I will occasionally write a note to my future self and mail it. When I get it I’ve usually forgotten and it gives me a boost.
[05:33] It is very cathartic to write because that’s how you get clarity in your thoughts. And so I agree with you on that and you know like us and that might be the process that you need to get to the place where you’re ready to be open to a new thought but I think the power comes when you speak it. You know when you actually speaking out loud, it’s one of the reasons why you know he’s always been a huge proponent of affirmation, so many other very successful people in the present moment they say you have to write down what it is you want, what you want to program your mind to believe, and then speak it and I think I do agree in zigs they want to set stand in front of the mirror and look yourself because there’s something about looking yourself in the eye and said, I can do this, I can’t get enough, I had everything I need to be successful. It just it kind of boost, you know we believe in what we say, so it’s just reprogramming.
[06:54] Joshua Wilson Everyday I ask myself these value proposition questions…. Who am I? Who do I serve? And what problems do I solve for them? The positive answers help me remind myself of my value, the people who really matter to me, and the people who don’t.
[07:28] I do too like it, because it really hits a lot of the elements that we tend to be critical you know ourselves that maybe not putting all our faith in and who’s we are and then the situation of our business and our life and all of that…. I like that, that’s a good way to think about it.
[08:06] Jodi Hawkins Tuten Romans 4 talks about the Lord being a God who speaks that which is not as though it were. He calls Abram (father of one) Abraham (father of many) before he has even one child. Brian and I have gone through Proverbs and written down at least one thing from each Proverb to speak into existence in our lives. ex. I am a man of wisdom who seeks understanding in all things. You will become what you tell yourself you are. Hearing those things, from your own mouth, helps you believe it and become it.
[09:11] I love it. We have been told speak life you know life and death is in the tongue. So when we speak life, when we speak truth, when we speak the promises, you know going or spiritual, but it is you know we were told to speak the promises that are in the Bible. So that’s a proactive approach to life you know and I see people that and I have done this in my own life where I’ve even taken some scripture and I changed it up a little bit, insert my name so that I’m speaking at that scripture into my own life, into my existence, that’s when you start to see amazing things starts to happen. Now it doesn’t have to just be spiritual, this goes across that everything when you say to yourself you know I’m always going to be in debt, I’m always going to at you know struggle or I’m always going to you know I’m not smart enough, not good enough, it’s you are going to be speaking the truth and that truth will become your reality. But when you I mean if that’s the reality you want, speak those words but I think what we’re talking about here is the power of words how can they can change your current reality to where you want to go.
[11:20] Susie Bensen Bradley -Yes praying my name in Scripture. Taking God’s promises and inserting my name as I pray it.
[11:27] Amy Rockenbach Praying my own name into scripture is a habit I have fallen out of and fully intend to pick back up as soon as I’m finished social media-ing because it is so empowering. Thanks for the reminder Susie! One really powerful habit I picked up many years ago that has thankfully stuck with me is reframing the self- victimizing, “I have to…” with virtually any other phrase. So instead of, “Tonight I have to go to this meeting, get people from point A to point B, take care of this chore…”, I make myself restate it, at a minimum deleting the “have to” but better if I can find a positive reason for what I’m doing: “Tonight I hope to learn about ___ at this meeting, then catch up with whoever the person is I’m chauffeuring, then check this chore off my list so I can wine and Netflix ASAP!” May sound silly but I witnessed first-hand how destructive that victim mentality/self-talk could be, caught myself picking up the habit, and work all the time still to beat it! Thanks for the question, Kevin!
[13:10] Jonathan Daley I find myself referring to myself in the third person, “come on Daley, get your stuff Sorted, get it together etc”.
[13:19] You know I think, well it of that’s that’s we’re looking for what fits you, that’s one where I think we can tend to kind of ride ourself in and kind of go into a negative space, but somebody else mentioned that you know when they do that, they hear the drill sergeant from their youth in their head. And it helps them you know we’re not going to say I’m not going to say there’s again a one size fits all I think you know look at it and see is it really motivating you, is it guilty in you maybe look at the how it’s really affecting you but ultimately we are talking about can you honestly I admit to that one a little bit too. I try to stay out of the negative with it but there are sometimes when I say Kevin come on get a grip brother, you can do it.
[14:07] Dan Brandenburg I did exactly the opposite. Years ago, I looked in the mirror each morning and gave myself lots of negative self talk. Everyday, I’d tell myself all these bad things. One day, though, I realized what I was doing and set out to break the pattern. I wrote three seemingly unachievable (at the time) goals on a piece of paper and placed it on my mirror. Each morning, instead of seeing my own reflection and repeating the cycle, I instead saw my three impossible goals…and thought admit them. I accomplished two working a year and the third within two. It was a powerful change for me….
[14:51] Dan I am gonna tell you as a kid, I saw my dad Dan Miller, student of Zig, puts statements like that on his bathroom mirror an also pictures. Pictures of the things he wanted to achieve and that’s what he saw every morning. Incredibly impacting for me as a kid and we hear stories of people who do that. Again where ever it works for me is down in my living room, on my carpet, I literally put down my pillow and bend on my knees, that’s what I do all my mornings.
[16:30] Keith Barton Because I screw things up so much I feel like it’s a lie I can’t convince myself that I’m ever getting better. Even when you know the harm it does 30 + years of programming seems insurmountable to change.
[16:49] Well definitely you are not alone in that because pretty much every one has some kind of programming for some amount of time and it’s negative. Thirty years to get to that point, it’s going to take more than a couple days to change that, and your mind is just like software. Think of it that way so you programmed your mind to believe those negative thoughts, so you downloaded the software onto your hard drive and that’s the output you can get in. So you will have to you know get rid of that old software, get rid of some things and put on a whole new software. So it takes time and I know that’s a silly analogy but computer buffs out there you know what I’m saying. It does take time but it can happen, it absolutely can happen.
[19:18] Douglas Collier It never worked for me. On the other hand, every time I spoke positively about others, it always improved my morale (and sometimes the morale of others as well).
[19:32] I mean we’re still dealing with that he feels like it never worked for you and Douglas I think we still we just talked to that degree but I do like and that’s why I pulled it out that your speaking positively about others healthy, I mean that goes back to I didn’t grab the show number but we did the interview with Shaunti Feldhahn. She has the kindness challenge book and she talked about that the aspect of being kind is not first off. Even foremost so that the person that you are giving this kindness to will reciprocate that and you’ll get X Y Z to it first off if you don’t get anything else out of it if you don’t get any of that response, it is for you, it makes you feel better, makes you see things differently, it gives you fulfilment and so I really appreciate it.
[25:11] Nate Swartzentruber Ever since I read “What Do You Say When You Talk To Yourself”, I’ve tried to limit the negative and accentuate the positive. Side benefit was a conscious decision to speak blessings over my kids and on occasion, to “strangers”. A simple “love your hair” or just saying “thank you” can help make someone’s day.
[25:35] Again reminded me of what we just heard from Douglas there but yeah maybe I think that’s a great piece to put in there is alongside the speaking it to ourselves and just the habit of speaking positivity to a human being, can we continue to do that to others as well. And it probably does go hand in hand.
[26:20] Tim Tupper: At one point in my life I was very unhappy, but I decided that every time I looked in the mirror, I would force myself to smile. It was so hard for the longest time, but eventually became easier to do and before long I was smiling all the time and much happier. Now all I have to do is fart loudly. It makes the boys laugh and Julie shakes her head in disgust, both of which make me smile!
[27:06] Fergus P Moore I smile at myself in the mirror every morning, excruciatingly difficult as it may be. The studies show that this increases the flow of endorphins associated with happiness.
[27:16] David Ask I’ll often look in the mirror and smile at myself! Think nice things.
[27:22] Well I just like that from again. I don’t know if it’s really the right uses of the word but from a kinetic you know a physiological standpoint to smile seems like I read it from these folks, I have not thought about that for myself. So when I’m doing this kind of I also just smile we know that affects humanity I know that in regards to others, I have not to this point ever really thought about doing it to myself.
[29:14] Toni Cooper I write it with expo markers on my mirror and say it daily. If there’s something I need to work on, I lie to myself all day long for months until I believe it. I don’t believe we can talk our way into suddenly having a skill. However, we can change our behaviours based on what we say and believe.
[30:01] Well I have to comment on that because I know Toni Cooper, she is Ziglar’s legacy certified trainer and a friend and she is the perfect example just like me and you. You know we want to be successful, we want to be the best we can be but you know we have days where we don’t feel it. So going back to this point, it is all about speaking of what you want and not what you don’t want.
[31:09] Justin Hughes I try not to speak empty positivity to myself. It rings hollow. What I do do though is after airing all the complaints and fears I have, I systematically dismantle them by pointing out how those fears and issues. This is part of my intentional optimism and is something I’ve done to combat my depressive/negative natural tendencies.
[32:04] So we don’t need the fluff and that’s where it goes back to being specific on what it is that you want to accomplish. So instead of saying and I never hand you speaking on on beliefs and things like that that’s what I say to them and you know get clear, get that clarity because if you just say I want to be successful, you know what’s around it or I want to make more money or I want to lose weight those are so general and fluffy and they’re not going to get any results and so leave your speaking that to yourself like I have been successful and you know get more specific on I’m successful as you know working mom or I am successful as an entrepreneur or starting my business or I’m successful because I have done X. Y. Z. It makes it a little bit more tangible than just the fluff but you know but then there are some listening to this will say all personal development is fluff, it’s not the actual truth yet if you’re speaking what you want to happen so I think that’s definitely a mixed bag.
[35:58] Audrey Steele There’s something about having to form truthful positive words and say them out loud, even when I don’t feel like it, that is gets me out of the mental rut I’m in. It feels a little goofy to give myself a pep talk, but negative beliefs can be so debilitating sometimes that just trying to think positively doesn’t cut it. When speaking the words, I then hear the words, too. Doubly helpful.
[37:03] Look if you’re going to be speaking yourself anyway why not make it positive. You talked earlier about building a muscle toned, one way or another you’re building a muscle, building a muscle negativity and maybe creating a life that you don’t love because you’re going in the action of your thoughts or you’re building a muscle memory and things you actually want. And you know what do you have to lose even if given the option you might as well try to beat a positive. I can remember times when I was in my early days in my career, doing sales and I remember sitting in my car and repeating affirmations to myself before I go in to meet with the client. I remember a quote that I think it was either find from Zig Ziglar’s that shared this in a book but just say I like myself, I like myself, I love my work, I like myself, I love my work and by doing just you are in the mode of like you know, yeah I got this. It does sound silly but you know you’re going to be telling yourself one thing or another and your mind as well and hopes it goes in the positive direction.
[38:22] Thanks Michelle, it was a good one I think I got as much out of that anybody listening.
[38:32] Well friends our hope is you get inspired to give this exercise a try. I mean honestly the results are irrefutable across the board. Nobody will argue I don’t think that overall losing weight requires burning more calories than we consume. Speaking positivity to yourself programs your brain, changes your beliefs, it influences your actions which ultimately gives you better results. If you’re not getting the positive results in your life that you want fully, why would you not try this. It cost you nothing but a scant amount of time and effort and mainly just getting over your own discomfort. Again talking to myself as well here. You can get Zig Ziglar’s self talk cards, great place to start on this at ziglar.com/selftalk, totally free and take him away. Coming up next is show 504, we bring you Erik Weihenmayer. If you don’t know Eric, he climbed Mount Everest, amongst many of the other top peaks in the world. Most recently he kayaks the Grand Canyon, one of the most demanding kayak runs on planet Earth. Does that sound remarkable? Even more so when you find out Eric is blind, completely blind. If you want to not only be inspired but empowered don’t miss this show. And if you get some value in today’s show please give us a high five and a gift by leaving and iTunes review, it means a world to us. And thank you so much for letting us walk with you as we inspire our true performance.