Carrie Wilkerson: Belief is a superpower.
Often it’s hard to see what’s possible because of our own perceptions. Open yourself up to see what is possible, with your own gifts, scenarios, and situations.
Why do we struggle to act, even if we see we can help our situation to change?
1.) We are comfortable with being uncomfortable. Because usually it’s the norm.
“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”- Tony Robbins
2.) We focus on what might happen, rather than where we want to be.
We have expectations of things that will happen because they are the “norm” in society. But we have to remember that perception is not reality.
You have the ability to change your reality!
- Do not be afraid to set yourself apart!
- We don’t have to judge others for staying conformed to some norms, and still live life the way you want to.
- You don’t need to strive to get validation from people.
-There’s no obstacle in your life that you cannot fix.
-Our lack of results is not based on what someone else has that’s better, it is based on what we are not doing to get there.
-Embrace the baby steps that add up to create the large achievements. Make the little decisions matter.
-Comparison happens for two reasons, neither of which are good. One: to puff ourselves up, or two: to bring ourselves down.
[00:16] Welcome to The Ziglar Show, where we inspire your true performance. I’m your host Kevin Miller and I bring you…Carrie Wilkerson. This is our second interview with Carrie, our first show was 394 “The labels that bind and free us”, downloaded over 52k times. What is the topic of our conversation? The point? By the fact that you are here listening, we know you are an aspiring person. Carrie exists to take aspiring people to be…achieving people. Literally. We all aspire, but do we always…do…what we aspire to? To take us from aspiring to actually achieving? Is anyone hearing this ok to always aspire, but never actually achieve? I think not, which is why you want to strap in and hear this discussion.
[01:08] If you don’t know Carrie, she’s been Featured on CNN and Fox Business News, in Success & Entrepreneur magazines and named by Forbes as a top small business influencer, Carrie has consulted with Google and other business thought leaders on growth strategies, productivity and current trends. However, Carrie mostly enjoys helping ordinary people lead extraordinary lives. She has worked from home for over 20 years while raising 4 kids. Her focus is showing people how to transform their lives, bodies, relationships and bank accounts. Connect with her at carriewilkerson.com.
[04:45] Well Carrie, we’ve known each other for quite some time, and as I often welcome guests to The Ziglar Show studio, however 95% of the time, that’s a virtual studio on Zoom as we meet from across the world together. Today you’re literally live with me in my high rocky mountain studio, thank you for the honour!
[05:02] It’s so exciting and you know we’ve known each other or I would say almost ten years now and this is the first time we’ve actually ever laid eyes on each other in human form. You know our kids have aged, we are older but this is our first same time same space.
[05:35] It’s all about family, relationships
[05:41] It is the reason I started my first business. I loved what I did, I was the high school teacher. I had also been in the government sector, private sector and and I had done a little bit of everything but when I adopted my older two kids and became a mom. Everything changed and I decided to start working at home, because they needed me there at the house and that’s not all. It’s not a statement about where everyone needs to be I’m saying because of the needs of those two particular children, I needed to be at the house with them. And so therefore everything changed around them meaning the way earns my income had to be different too.
[06:21] You are known in some huge even have it on your website as when you need that little push or kick of tough love as well and you are also very quickly self-effacing with your own journey but there’s a balance there and I wonder you as curious as this author and speaker and presenter and influencer that you are charging people in a tough love aspect to come on, let’s go do it, let’s make that you need to make this happen; even as you are admittedly day to day on your own journey, you balance that well.
[06:56] Yeah it’s a somebody said to me recently, it’s like come binding sweet tea with also ginger snaps. So there’s a fine line there. You know I think we need to speak to ourselves sternly but kindly, sternly but with Grace. So I talk to myself the same way talk to my clients I had the same expectations of myself that I have with my kids but in all things Grace right. So we are learning we are getting better not every day is a perfect day, however if we don’t raise our own expectations we never meet.
[08:44] In one of your videos you are on stage speaking to 4,400 people for an hour. You say you are not speaking for an hour, you are speaking for 4,400 hours, each of theirs. Here we’ll be talking for about an hour and expecting over 50k downloads, which is what your last interview with us has eclipsed…so 50k hours. What is the hope or charge you’d most like to impart?
[09:19] Yeah and you know I think and I would even say your numbers are bigger than that, even if you think you have 50,000 downloads or 50,000 listeners, let’s think of the people there telling or think of the people they are exchanging in their house around their dinner table, we touched on that in our earlier conversation that our food choices affect not only us but our families, how they trickle down, the way I’ve always approached my work is that I’m not responsible for the one hour. I’m on stage, I’m responsible for all the human as ours that are taken up by me being there and if I’m speaking to parents I’m also responsible for their hours away from their family. Or their hours when they go back and download to their family. So that’s a big responsibility for us as parents as a bigger responsibility for us as achievers or aspires or you know Ziglar followers or people that have a message it’s not about the ones fail or the one person listening it’s about the ripples.
[10:25] I know you speak to large corporations down to individuals. But after being an influencer on such a big scale for so long, who do you find yourself writing to most?
[11:00] I tend to talk to and write to a person that’s having a hard time seeing what’s us. Till my goal the way I’ve evolved my mission statement as it were is to help others who know there’s something different or who know there’s something more, help them see what’s possible with their own gifts their own life their own talents their own skills their own family their own scenarios a situation and even geography, help them see what’s possible. If I can be that girl that through my mess or my testimony or my success or my journey or my self-deprecating jokes if I can be the girl that helps somebody go oh there it is, if she can do that then and I can see me doing this.
[17:06] So on that norm, you are talking about health, so in my work in health and wellness arena, we are well aware that the norm of awareness has decreased. And now the norm is migraines or will P.M.S. and heartburn and hypertension those are the norms, so our norms are declines. Is that all about you are fighting?
[17:48] Yeah I think people have an expectation of graduating with student loan debt. People have an expectation that after you get married everybody lets them self you know go. People have an expectation that once the kids come along that you don’t date anymore. If you have an expectation that when you’re building a business you have burned out, you know when you never see your family. So and there’s almost a merit badge for hustle now which is ridiculous. And so I think yeah our norms have shifted in perception but the fact is we have to remember that perception is not reality. Our reality is up to us and here’s another thing we talked about is I was at a dinner well even at lunch today, we all ordered really high quality, amazing, smart choices. There were a lot of things on the mid you, it we as people that are fuelling our bodies in smart ways. We don’t even discuss it we’re just like yep that’s what I’m having too, that’s what I am having too. And so I think we have the ability to adjust our norm, we don’t have to be victims to a norm some other random media outlet or social media or branded sets for us. We can change that.
[27:16] So in that vein of you walking to the beat of your own drum but then you also I like you said that’s not about being a vigilante and I know that you as an individual and to your audience, to your subscribers, your followers; you’re not having them all go out in yourself as well and be an island unto themselves. You call them and then to I know this way back when with barefoot executive you had a membership group, you had people who were coming together with like minded people, talk about the importance of that flow of people.
[27:51] Relationship is important and we can make different choices than people we have relationship with. That’s a whole Grace conversation, that could be a theology conversation and that could be something that we can see churches maybe aren’t getting right. Right now is that the fact is we don’t have to be alike to be in a relationship, we don’t have to agree to be in a relationship and I don’t have to condone your choice chip or all the relationship or all the love we’re called to Grace and so I can disagree with your choices or how you are carrying your weight or your health and I could be frustrated about that and I could still love you. So grace in community is important, we can not alienate ourselves, we can not weak.
[29:17] So on this aspect of aspire and achievement, aspiration and achievement and that audience is sitting out in front of you, that’s listening right here that are people that maybe want to move from aspiration to achievement, this is probably an unfair question but in this age of superheroes, if you could give them a super power an insight and understanding if you could just give them that nugget, what would it be, where would you start?
[29:45] That’s interesting that you put it in superhero damped as we just watched Justice League weeks ago and then Wonder Woman is one of my new favourite. I think there are so many solid principles, I’m not a superhero follower, I don’t pick one side of the Super Heroes vs the other. I can even I think it’s D.C. Marvel but I can’t, I don’t even know. All I know is that one of my friends from high school illustrates all of them. He’s like the head comic at at the house that does all that but I will say that Wonder Woman I haven’t had a lot of amazing belief principles and I would say one of her strongest superpowers is belief.
[33:35] In your latest book, ‘Move the Needle’ – How to radically transform your body, your business and your life, that term, “radical transformation”. So I’m an admitted log(a)phile…lover of words. The definition of radical is relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something (especially of change or action). So that is a perspective that excites you. But for many it can sound far fetched. Very few people proactively make a radical change in their lives. Ever. So what is your primary angle you come at regarding how to actually make…a “radical transformation”?
[34:18] So here is the breakdown. We believe it’s possible for other people right because they’re luckier or they have better genetics or they have more time more help more support or whatever different whatever, we believe that for them, we want it for our self but we have a hard time seeing how to bridge that gap. And part of that breakdown I blame on reality shows. And before and after pictures. We see the before, we see the after, we don’t see the messy middle or like that’s what I want I want to skip all that in between I want the before I want the after but I don’t want the messy middle. I want to go from my little house to this fabulous big house like Ty Pennington did on how extreme home make overs but I don’t want to go through the expense or the construction zone or moving out or whatever that looks like. So I think what we forget are the steps in the preps.
[41:30] On the aspect of fix, you talk about ever so I just recently we had a great interview with Erik Winemayer, crest of Mount Everest and he’s blind that he fixes his blindness would you say he found a fix.
[41:45] He found a fix it fixed and he couldn’t see his way out so what did he do. He paid somebody to help him get over that. He had a guide of some sort right I’m guessing, yes he had a guide. So he got around it, it’s called a work around well it’s a work around but what we’re doing is we’re using our differences between us and them, our differences between us and the people we perceive as influencers or achievers or better than or are to have we use the differences that we see that we pick apart as excuses to let ourselves off the hook, so that we can remain in our own places.
[43:28] To the idea of fixing ourselves…remodeling. It’s interesting to me that we as a culture will often make huge efforts financially and in time and effort to remodel our kitchen, our house, maybe our automobile, furniture, even our wardrobe or maybe get a makeover with hair and makeup. But how often have any of us experienced anyone in our lives, ourselves included, who actually made a recognizable transformation. So we’re not unaware of transformation, but we lack faith or will power to do it where it really matters?
[44:07] Yes, and our daily habits. OK and because of neurological programming we get up and we grab our cereal it up and grab our coffee and we don’t even know why just part of our neurologic program. So we have to replaced or the way we talk to ourselves, it is huge. So Ziglar made us all aware of thinking and the way we talk to ourselves in the way we talk to other people, the way we go. Well have you ever notice that when somebody else has something great going on there Iives because they’re lucky. We have something great going on it because we work hard.
[45:28] You cite 3 options for fixing ourselves:
- Alter it ourselves
- Pay somebody to do it
- Or choose to see it a different way
Walk us through those?
[46:34] I think it just depends on the situation. So for instance, let’s talk about finishing a book. Like others are so lucky that they have time to write a book. It must be nice to be wake up and give your all time to write a book. OK so I can either carve out the time to work on my book, I can pay somebody to help me flesh it out, ghost write it, get it done, transcribe it. I can choose to look at it a different way. That person is very disciplined that must be a priority in their life. That’s why that works. So then which way I need to go to, step 1 or 2. Or maybe their success is not even related to their book, maybe that’s a tool that they’re using for something else. We’re just so quick to excuse ourselves that people always say carry any weight loss advice or any debt advice or I’m always hesitant to give formulas and prescriptions and here’s why, because if I say and all of this by the way is just hypothetical. I did not use any of these diet. If I say oh I used Weight Watchers the minute it comes out of my mouth I have people in their head who will say oh I tried that once it and it worked for me and they quit listening to anything else I will say. Other people that will say Oh well I can’t afford that or that has to do with counting blah blah blah that would never work for me or oh I can’t afford that or converse lay the other twenty to twenty five percent that I’ll go I’m going to go sign up for Weight Watchers because that’s the secret. Right and that wouldn’t matter if I said surgery, if I said low carb, if I said Jenny rag, if I said the cabbage soup diet, I would have those same four responses oh I tried that once, people dismiss the reasons why it doesn’t work for them.
[54:21] Another video: Comparison will kill your progress – and you talk about the stories we make up about other people to excuse ourselves from the activity we are not doing. Give us some examples here.
[55:48] Yes but why we don’t worry about them but we do. But it’s Satan. That’s the enemy, it really is because the number one tool is discouragement right and comparison serves two polar functions. One to either puff us up or what the other is to tear us down. When I’m comparing myself on social media to somebody that does the same thing I do, I’m either saying dang they’re charging so much more or they’re so much more booked or that dress they’re just rocking that dress or they’re so much taller and this is so much easier for them etc. Or I’m saying Oh I look so much better than her or I’m so much funnier than her or right I mean it’s too comparisons. So I keep my blinders on I run the race and the people running the race are not checking over their left and right shoulder to see what they’re doing.
[1:02:14] Another video – success is in the eye of the beholder. You make a statement early on that “gratitude is the catalyst for everything we do”. I’d say my default to progress is getting myself amped up and just making things happen. Focusing on hope and vision…so tell me about gratitude as a catalyst.
[1:02:56] I remember the last time we talked in that last podcast and guys if you hadn’t heard that I would encourage you to go look at that. We’ve gotten amazing feedback on that conversation last year and that’s because it stopped you in your tracks there too and you said I’m guilty of that. I’m guilty in not celebrating that always aspiring to the next thing. You know the fact is I think we have to be grateful for where we are. You just talked earlier about your amazing kids. I’m as aspirer, I’m an achiever and I’m in constant motion, I’m in a crazy season right now the Erin and I were talking about earlier and I got a text from my mom the other day and it. So she’s doing a lot better, she sent me a text the other day and she said I just want to tell you today if you stopped this project and that project and you just stayed home to love Eddie and the kids today for the rest of your life, than your dad and I will be so proud of who you are and who you become and all that you impacted.
[1:08:36] Hey Friends…I’m not going to ask if you are inspired…I know you are. Give Carrie thanks by leaving a review in iTunes for The Ziglar Show and tell her why and help others discover…Ziglar. But also connect with her at carriewilkerson.com. Coming up in show 519 is…can you guess it…our habits show with Carrie! Get behind the scenes with her. Is she just Wonder woman incarnate? Well, as you heard in the show, she digs Wonder woman. But no, she’s not. She had no leg up more than you or me, but she had desire and she did the work and she really, truly wants to help you and me. And it comes from daily habits. Some highlights, at 29 years old she was 5’2” and weighed 266 pounds. Today she’s 45 and is 150 lbs lighter. She believes her brain is her biggest asset and eats to feed her brain. She guards her sleep, especially before a speaking engagement. Financially she believes ‘upgrading’ is a disease we have to stop. She thinks multitasking is a myth and her personal vice is…musicals. So till then, thank you…for letting me walk with you as we inspire our true performance…together!