What new knowledge has literally changed your way of thinking in the past year?
We are so blessed to hear so many authentic, open and unique responses. Some of the answers we received were:
-Self-care is vital. Stop and take time to care for yourself.
-You can be satisfied with who you are, where you are and value that- even if you are on a journey of self- improvement.
-Being with people from different backgrounds, skills and opinions is actually where we can grow the most. “You don’t know what you don’t know”
-2 Chairs: One for you and one for God. You don’t have to do it all on your own.
-You are not responsible for making everyone happy and making them grow. You can only facilitate a space for that to happen.
-There is blessing in blessing others, don’t hold back from being kind no matter how it is received.
– Do the scary things. Feel the fear, have faith, step out and do it anyways, because the fear will not last.
[01:20] Welcome to The Ziglar Show, where we inspire your true performance. I’m your host Kevin Miller and today we hear a 2-minute message from Zig Ziglar where he shares a primary therapy a renowned counsellor uses with people who have borderline personality disorder. It’s a prescriptive diet of…positing thinking messages. From Zig’s message I asked on Facebook at agentkmiller, where you’re welcome to friend me and join in the conversation, “What new knowledge has literally changed your way of thinking in the past year?” Incredible responses that my co-host Michelle Prince and I talked through. It’s rich folks.
[02:12] OK folks, now I bring you…Zig Ziglar!
[04:18] Ok friends, so from that message, we asked the question, “What new knowledge has literally changed your way of thinking in the past year?” Here now Michelle Prince and I will talk through some of the amazing responses:
[04:42] What new knowledge has literally changed your way of thinking in the past year?
[05:10] Gerry: After 4 years of burnout from working too many hours for too long, I discovered the importance of self-care. Instead of exhausting myself in the service or others, I take time to charge my batteries and am more effective in every area of life.
[05:53] I mean we’re all programmed to know that it’s important to serve other people, take care of our family, your friends, your community, so to stop and take care of yourself sometimes feels a little selfish; but you know I always think that that analogy on the airplane you know where the stewardess says in case of an emergency if the catalyst is pressure, you know who do you put the oxygen mask on first you or the person in need of help and they say always support it on yourself first because you can’t really be any help to anybody if you don’t take care of yourself first. So but it’s not that it’s we know those things but sometimes it’s still hard and I think too sometimes it’s a good excuse to not take care of ourselves is to always you know put it off on somebody else but sometimes we don’t take care of ourselves because we don’t believe we deserve to be taken care.
[07:02] Steve: That I’m ok RIGHT NOW. Suddenly, there isn’t a carrot leading me into places I don’t have to go. My motivation and ambition have been completely changed since accepting that I’m valuable and worthy, just the way I am today.
[07:39] I’m not sure, I’m not really sure the answer about on how to overcome that other than you know it’s just a daily very renewing, daily just refocusing on ourselves what’s important you know who we were created to be and how we can make the best of ourselves come out but it’s not an easy thing to do. And so it’s interesting that all of these comments are echoing that same everybody has the same thought on that.
[08:26] Gemma: Working with a team of different backgrounds and motivations, i learned each one has something of value to give to someone else oftentimes without being aware of that strength.
[09:23] You know I totally agree with that and you do want to be surrounded by people who know more so that you can grow more and reach further and sometimes it’s easier to just stay where you are, but the most successful people something like from your interview he agrees that the most successful people are, they’re pushing themselves beyond what they think they’re capable of and you know just you know that new knowledge the change of thinking that you posted about this question is you don’t know what you don’t know and till you get around other people who know something you don’t know. So in less she forced herself out of your comfort zone and go and be a part of groups or organizations or associations that are thinking differently than you. You don’t know that there’s any other way.
[12:50] Kimberly: This will seem obvious and silly….but here goes….after moving from a very large city (Indianapolis) to a small Appalachian town… I now fully understand that just because someone does something differently doesn’t mean they are wrong!
[13:32] I don’t know if I said it another time on one of our shows but something that my sixth grade history teacher said has stuck with me my whole life and that is different strokes for different folks and it’s just a simple way of saying just because somebody is different doesn’t mean they’re wrong it just means that we just have different backgrounds and really everybody’s truth is not necessarily true, it’s based on the environment you were brought up, and it’s based on all you know but it doesn’t mean that it’s actually truth. So I feel like if we go through life and just realize that that you know. I don’t really understand where you’re coming from but you you know you have a valid reason for feeling that way and we’re not called to understand but we are called to love people. So regardless of that we understand where they’re coming from.
[14:23] Tim: Our cancer journey and the treatment path we are on and letting go. Letting go that life is not fair, we have limited number of breaths and God’s plan and Will wins. I don’t know If I will have my wife for a few more weeks or months or years. But a bus can take me out too. My biggest take away….God chose you and I “for such a time as this”. Psalm 118 v 24. Love Tim.
[15:24] I feel for for him for having to you know be going through this for anybody going through this. I guess the only blessing in all that is that there’s the knowing right so that you know to enjoy every moment. My husband’s mother was killed in a tragic car accident so we never had that moment to say what we would want to say, but both sides of the coin are not an easy situation but I love though that his perspective and you’re right it is you know it’s not necessarily that the information you hope to get but it changes your perspective and you just kind of move on and you know it’s a new normal, It’s a new life, it’s a new normal.
[16:13] Marvin: Discovering the power of coaching. The assumption that people don’t usually want the answer given to them but drawn out of them through intense listening and asking powerful questions.
[17:17] That so true. It’s hard sometimes as a coach to not give your opinion because you’re like you just said just because you feel something doesn’t mean it’s right for that person but the key here and a good effective coach is somebody that’s going to motivate you based on the answers that they’re getting, that there because it you know it’s just like anything in life if somebody tells you to do it you’re more likely not to do it. But if you come up with the solution and the answer to your own problem you’re more likely to stick with it and that’s just value the coaches to help you do that.
[17:56] Kyle: That I’m not responsible for making everyone happy and grow. I can only help create the environment and facilitate growth. Heard that from one of your recent guests.
[18:53] Sometimes people pleasing is because we do want to make other people feel comfortable. You know thinking back to when I first started coaching, my first coaching client that I had I was frustrated, very very frustrated and I remember sharing this with a friend that you know they’re just you know they’re not doing what I’m telling them to do and they said to me that but that is not what a coach does. A coach doesn’t tell someone what to do you know and expects them to do it and Coach is there to guide them but one of my biggest frustrations was the thought that will but if I say do this if I know this will solve your problem and they don’t do it that is sometimes that’s a frustration in coaching. It’s kind of like I’m parenting when you know what’s best for your kid and they still won’t do it, it’s frustrating but you have to let go that, you have to keep you have to do it anyway and yeah hope yeah that what they hear will take root but your kids, you’re coaching clients they may or may not.
[20:18] Toni: The knowledge of what it takes to really run a business and make some serious decisions. I used to think that as the leader you need everyone’s input to make decisions. However, sometimes, you need to take a step back, look at the overall goal and direction, and move forward. Not everyone will agree, which is a good thing. These people challenge your thinking to help you move forward. Tough decisions have to be made.
[21:25] It’s that control you want to but then you want to release it because you have too much of it you know and too much responsibility. You know running a business being a leader is one of the hardest things ever and maybe for you Kevin, it comes natural to where like you said that you tend to just make decisions without getting everyone else’s involvement. You know I didn’t have a business up until I’m almost ten years ago when I was always in sales, so I was always relying on a boss or management to basically tell me what to do. So that shift for me and to all of a sudden having to make all the decisions was tough for me initially. Maybe that’s a personality thing but what I did realize is that’s where I needed some help and that’s when I started reading books and it’s when I started attending seminars, started finding coaches that could help me be a better business owner because you can’t help anybody if you can’t you’re not a business; you need to be successful in business in order to make a difference.
[25:26] Elise: I could list many things we’ve learned this year but the one that is sticking out is the change from a scarcity mind-set to an abundance mind-set. First heard Michael Hyatt speak to this- then have heard the same teaching through so many other leaders that we follow.
[26:19] I struggled with as well and I know my parents struggle with and their parents and so a lot of times these are the things that get passed out in generation to generation and it’s just it’s because that’s all they knew and that’s how they pass it on but scarcity is more than just money. That’s for sure and feeling like there’s not enough to go around. There was this great analogy when I was pregnant with my second son Tyler My oldest son he was only three but he said to me at one point he was basically not happy that he had another brother come and because he felt like that was going to take my love away from him. And somebody put it this way and it just kind of goes along the lines of scarcity versus abundance said that you know do an analogy where imagine that you have three candles and in the centre of the candle is let and that is mom right, and on this candle is my oldest son and so I’ve take my love and my candle and then I pass it over to my oldest and his candle is lit and my candle is lit and we’re full of love. Well but then that my second child is coming and so I take my flame again and now I do it to the other candle and we all three are lit you see that all three are they have the same amount to love nobody lost any of their love or their flame because I gave some more to somebody else. And so there’s that abundance that’s just for me and I’m very visual so that’s how I kind of picture abundance you know there’s always more to go around.
[28:44] Nate: The blessing of blessing others. Do NOT withhold speaking a compliment or doing a kindness especially to strangers. Most deeds cost nothing, but have a world of impact. Speak a kind word, hold a door, prefer another before self.
[29:02] Beth: Be nice to people regardless of how it is received because my interpretation of their response isn’t always accurate….AND even if it is accurate, my being nice regardless and giving the benefit of the doubt makes me a happier person.
[30:48] You’re right, we’re raised it to be kind you know be nice to people and all that in hopes that they’ll be nice to you right treatment the way you want to do it, but you’re right to think of it from that other perspective of what it does if you have it fills you up. I actually as you were talking I was thinking almost from the opposite that was still go ahead and speak to these people with kindness and because you don’t know when maybe that not at that moment that you don’t know when that seat will be accepted. You know sometimes if you think back to what made impact on you in your life, sometimes it wasn’t the things people said directly to you it might have been indirect or made up then in passing that you maybe it didn’t make sense to at the time but then later you remembered it and you’re like ha you know what that person when I was ten years old said this about me and I’m going to believe it now, I wasn’t ready to believe it then. Or was nice to me you never know because you know I just always try to think of we don’t really know what people are going through and one kind word could literally set them on a totally different path because maybe it’s the only kind word they heard all day, or all week or all year.
[32:08] Jacqueline: Get closer to what you fear and you lose that fear. -Ann Voskamp. Seriously so simple yet so profound and I have seen the truth that as I step out and trust God, and do the thing I feared for so long, that it no longer has its grip on me. This particular fear was public speaking and I am amazed to say how much I want to do it and get better at it!
[33:36] It is very fearful because you don’t really know how it’s going to be received and I think that’s where we’re speakers for me personally where I because I started with that same fear like oh my gosh what are people going to think, are they going to like what I say or they going to judge me are they looking at my outfit and guess what they are. But then you get to the point where it’s like well you know what though but I’m not this isn’t about me before I speak out I say a little prayer actually but I always you know don’t let make this be about me let, it be about you and speak through me kind of thing and when we take that worry, fear when you take that away and just say you know what I’m here to serve and if the best way to service to speak and front of a room of people that are going to do it but I don’t think the fear ever really goes away, it’s just more of a confidence that you know what I am still going to be nervous that I am doing this for the right reasons and therefore you know it will be ok.
[35:07] Eric: Understanding the difference between a fixed mind-set and growth mind-set.
[35:51] It is a day to day journey because your fixed mind-set is really just the beliefs that you hold on to and some of our beliefs surface and some of them don’t but you know especially thinking like well you know my parents were always this way there for always be this way or you know I’ll always struggle or get out never get out of debt all those you don’t even know you’re trying to get out of debt, it’s almost like those mind-sets hold you back without even knowing it. So that’s where I’ve why I believe programs like this and any kind of books or programs that will develop your mind. Personal development is so powerful because we are so stuck in our ways but if we want to achieve more be more then we gotta have to be reminded daily that that doesn’t have to stay that way.
[37:02] Graeme: I really have embraced the SIDCHA habit, the Josh Spodek introduced us to in one of your shows. It has helped me address the difficult items that need to get done but previous to SIDCHA I would look over and procrastinate on
[40:41] It’s just such a powerful perspective that is so at least in my world that I would think is pretty profound I just did not understand that well. It’s kind of like it’s you see realize the power of all what’s holding you back but that you literally do hold the key that if you just do these little things and you know the whole culture our thing I don’t know that I could do culture hour every morning but there have been times when I have forced myself to do something only because I knew it was good for me, maybe I had something to eat. And you do feel better about yourself, you feel more confident, you feel like you know if I can do that then I can do this. So it’s just that starting point and whatever it takes for you to get that momentum going you know.
[42:21] Amazing comments everyone, thanks as always for the amazing responses. You are welcome to join the conversation, find me on facebook at agentkmiller. And folks, if you got value, the most valuable way to let us know is by leaving a review in iTunes. Ok, coming up next in show 552 we bring you…Ben Hardy. He has a new book titled, “Willpower doesn’t work”. Friends, this is a profound, profound message. Who has not gotten frustrated at their lack of willpower? Setting goals, having desires, trying to achieve something…and then failure. Wishing we had more discipline and willpower. Ben takes a hardline and paradigm shifting view to say…relying on willpower is the wrong solution. What is the solution? Listen in and you’ll be mesmerized to hear Ben focus in on how we can design our environment for success, and no longer rely on our grit and willpower. Ben is the #1 writer for Medium.com and just a masterful writer and communicator. And it comes from…research. This isn’t just his opinion. You literally don’t want to miss this show. Till then…